The Adventures of Langney and Laysey
Jackson Waffles
Disclaimer: Lagney and Laysey do lots of cool stuff with a badge. They feature in these adventures with bad guys and girls and they go like "Excuse me, ma'am, could we have a word with you?" or also "Mary, don't you be going to no police!". They go to the front desk office, to the corner bar, their squad car and when they get a little sick they can always visit the medical examiner's office. He always orders pizza or tendercrisp rodeo chicken morningstar burgers. Better be good now.
Toes will troll!
He did it! He got hired. He came in well prepared, soliciting like a pro! He spent countless hours studying pixels and collars up against the chill. But then he found out why he actually got hired. He couldn’t express language oraly.
The interviewer told him Waffle Computer Indoctrinated only hired people who couldn’t talk. Toby Jackson, however, excelled in expressing himself with his feet. A perfect match it was! Waffle didn’t want folks leaking stuff they had in store to other dudes or a whole bunch of dudes sitting behind desks about their products and the job description required being really good at feeteraction, a very rudimentary kind of interacting using but yer two steppers invented by a rare ancient tribe during the happier days of conquest . Tobes had to write technical documents sprinkled with large amounts of awesome’s, best ever’s and Oh boy your life will never be the same after you get an eyeful of this 800 inch pliant keyboard!’s. And so the good lad did just that. No questions asked, money in the bank!
At lunch he would wiggle his toes to the melody of songs only the mess staff were able to whistle. Happily calling the staff names abusing his feet and his knowledge of tech (feet tech) jargon. Weary. Even the experienced feeter dudes were a little scared since he’d always be raising his right foot whenever he got upset about some strategy he didn’t like. His supervisor barely gathered just enough courage to say “Get yer feet to the principal’s office.” (as opposed to “Get yer bum to the principal’s office.” Just bear with us since it's all about feet. Or don't.). The toe tapping drove the Chief Technical Principal mad. Rolling his eyes every time those huge feet came marching through the door of the office the chief designed himself using the pencil tool they shipped with WafflePaint.
IV. Yeah, go to Jackson, go ahead and comb your hair!
Lagney was on a steakout. Binoculars. 8 pieces. She had to look for 10 weeks and somehow he knew her eyebrows would no longer protect her from her sweating like crazy, so switching to a fresh pair of binoculars was no luxury at all. It kept her going. The good life? 27 storeys high on-the-look outing, a steakout. A steakout without the beef (hence the out).
She must have been asleep for 19 hours straight when Toby Jackson's giant feet left the Waffle Computer Ind. building. Only retracing his steps to lock the 274 golden sliding doors like the ones Scotty, Spock and Uhura went through to get snacks during breakfast and lunch breaks in 1966, 1967 and 1969. They held a food sabbatical in 1968. Rumor has it Uhura usually had steamed bacon with deep fried Anglo Saxon beans for breakfast. And yoghurt. Lukewarm yoghurt. Scotty tried to snack back in at some time during the 6th Next Generation episode but of course he got busted like big time! Red handed, head stuck in the fridge, by Patrick Stewardship. Not sure why Kirk wasn’t there. Raising cane or fundraising, we were on a need to know basis. Hmmm. That sounds kinda funny.
Patrick St. was a very close friend of Toby Jackson although they both featured in different popular television series. Jackson's footwork? Footloose++!
P.S. had enough time to wake Lagney because of the 274 sliding doors Toby Jackson still had to lock with his lips. And the wizard of toes had to use his hands and feet to prepare a keynote for a convention coming up early next century which dramatically increased the amount of time Stewardship had to tend to Lagney. He put on the kettle, prepared her a fine continental breakfast and while he was at it he ironed the towels, cashmere shirts and 5 pairs of stockings. Jackson, halfway locking the doors suddenly had to sneeze. Twice. And he dropped his hanky. Pat, being a visionary in the field of modern day housekeeping, took his sweet time to comb Lagney's hair and considered knitting her a nice sweater with a proper unicorn label on the inside.
XI. Nutritional Imbalanced Toe twitched Lipiflowed perfectly in Jackson Toby's Cistern
Jackson finally finished locking up and went on his merry way home. Home sweet home was actually a reproduction of the Cistern La Malga in Carthage. You probably guessed it had to do with the feet, of course. He had to keep those moist and the... wait... hang on... I think I got that wrong. It would appear he reproduced that small tank near Thalambedu in Kanchipuram. He also took seeds from the trees and shrubberies and rocks and mortar to be able to plant all the fauna and brick structure to match the lovely scenery. Sweet! There also was a big panel they planted next to the 5 trees at the right hand side stating:
Breaking news: US military airstrikes in Iraq target militants’ armed vehicles, mortar positions near Irbil!!!
Since nobody ever took it down it remained breaking news.
But then he started wondering about the use of poloxamers for deswelling of organ-cultured corneas. A weird mixture of anger, transparency and normal collagen fiber fiameter organization clouded his rational thought process on inducing moderate injuries to corneal ultrastructure.